My thoughts on the JackRabbit 10-miler

This morning I ran the JackRabbit Battle of Brooklyn 10-miler in Prospect Park. Not only my longest race to date, this was my longest run EVER. I have to admit, I was a bit nervous before I started.

Someone asked me last week what I think about during my runs. I had NO idea what to say. What a great question (and idea for a blog entry!). So here is what went through my head while running 3 loops around Prospect Park at 8am this morning.

mile 1, when Ms. Nike+ told me I was running a 9:30-something pace…
I better slow the fuck down. I am going to cramp up.

mile 2ish…
Oh boy, I’m cramping up.

when I saw the “START Time Your Climb” sign…
Wait, what? We’ve been going up hill for like a mile… Is the whole loop up hill?

at the “FINISH Timing Your Climb” sign…
I think I may collapse on the next loop. I should have eaten a banana this morning. I always eat a banana before my long runs. Bananas are key.

That is so phallic. OMG, I have issues. Ok, now I’m thinking of penises. Aksgh;aihfgoairhgi;erhgla;eirnea.

NEXT thought please…

beginning of second loop…
What do I think about when I run? Start paying attn Liz. Hmmm…

I definitely think this run my be the end of me.

mile 4ish, when two women ran around me fast enough to cause a breeze…
Whoa! WHOA! Wait, was that Coach Christine? I think it was. DAMN, she is faaaaaaast! I am in good hands with her! Keep training me Coach Christine — whip me into shape and make me run that fast.

I wonder what it would be like to run that fast. It would be like snowboarding, but with running shoes… kinda… I miss snowboarding. I can’t wait for the winter to come back.

It would be so great if I was a weather god; I could make it snow whenever I felt like riding. I could also make sure it was never humid on running days. Although then I’d have to make a decision about the weather everyday — snow or sun, boarding or beaching. That would be stressful — I hate decisions. Yeah, actually, when I think about it, it would be better to just date a weather god. Then I could seduce him into providing the weather I wanted… but not have to take full responsibility.

after that…
This race may kill me. Maybe I should pitch an article to Runner’s World or Women’s Health titled “That time I thought I was going to die running 10 miles.” Or maybe “A time to collapse: my failed attempt at a half-marathon.”

Maybe I should read a few more issues to see if it fits with the style.

after gel’ing up, chugging a glass of water and on my way up the “Time Your Climb” hill for the second time…
Dear Stomach, please like this gel stuff and give me the energy to make it through this race. Oh and please don’t puke. “How I upchucked my running career…” The blog would love that.

You know, I don’t need to finish the race. I just need to make it through this lap. That’s all. I mean, 6.something miles is a good run. I don’t HAVE to do ten miles this week. I have time to get there before the race. I wonder why I’m so sluggish… possibilities:

— I didn’t work out a lot this week…?
– My legs are not ready for hills…?
– I didn’t eat a banana…?

Oh, there are people walking, I can walk a little bit. I mean, if they are.

I wonder where the question “If all your friends jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you” came from? I mean, I get the point but right now, for instance, if I say to myself “If everyone else walked up this monstrous hill, would you?” Why yes! Yes I would; it is a potentially life-preserving move. This is not a situation where there is a need to be an individual. I think it may be healthy to copy cat the other runners and walk a little bit.

Ok, walking is actually harder. I’ll try this running thing again. I definitely don’t think I’m gonna make it. I think I can see the heat wiggle in front of me.

looking down in front of me…
Is that rain? Its drizzling. Oh no, that’s the sweat spraying off my face and head.

downhill…
Oh, quit your bee-otching Liz. This is not bad. Come on… man it up. Why are you being so negative? You are not negative. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING! MAN THIS SHIT UP! FINISH THIS THING. GRRRRR.

Ooooh, I love this song.
Awww cute dog. I wonder how Dora’s paws are feeling.
I wish I had a banana.
What was the name of the dog in that movie “Up?” I remind myself of him. We have the same attention span.

I’m glad I didn’t sign up for another half-marathon next Spring. One at a time is a good start.

beginning of loop three, on the incline…
I’m kinda seeing stars. I think seeing stars is a sign of heat stroke. I wonder HOW many stars imply heat stroke. Like are a couple ok? Or does a couple mean you’re past the point of avoiding stars. That reminds me of the scene in Harry Potter when Hermione creates birds to fly around her head when she’s sad that Ron kissed another girl. Harry, Ron and Hermione were such amazing friends — thats definitely the most important lesson in those novels. I have great friends too. I have AMAZING friends. How many friends would I fight Voldemort for? Let me count… hmmm… Definitely at least 6-8, no questions asked. Then there are some people that if I was with them at the time that Voldemort appeared, wand in hand and death in his eye, I would help them. I probably wouldn’t call them in preparation for the situation, but I think they are nice enough to do the same thing for me.

I wish we could do magic. I wish we could apparate. Where would I go if I could apparate?

Hmmmm, I wonder what Des Moines is like at this time of year?

on the uphill of loop three…
Ahhh, much better. This gel fuel stuff is fantastic. I’m gonna run this whole incline. I think I can, I think I can, I know I can, I know—ooooooh, I’m gonna walk a few steps. Just a few!

as my iPod told me I was .5 miles away…
Wait, seriously? WOO HOO!!! YOU GO LIZ! You deserve a pat on the back.

as my iPod told me I was done with 10 miles when I was nowhere near the finish line…
Oh Apple, you and your GPS are not in sync. You have failed me. I never thought the day would come. Weird. I can’t believe how much I love apple products.

as I approached the finish line…
Wait… did I do this? Am I actually finishing this race? I was going to bail. I failed at bailing. I’m awesome!

OMG, they have bananas.

post-run... look at all that sweat!

And just like that, I ran my longest run ever — broke into double digits.
My brain has no rhyme or reason, but I like it that way.