For decades scientists have searched for the ‘missing link’ between man and ape. This may be intriguing to the concept of evolution but I haven’t seen any apes walking out of Bloomie’s ready to take on corporate America so as far the future of American capitalism, I see it slightly irrelevant.
There is a missing link I have been researching and I believe I have found the answer. The missing link between teenagers and adults. There is a long-lasting mysterious belief that these two categories of mankind are unable to agree on anything, not to mention communicate. Miscommunication comes from lack of common interest, would you disagree? Well, adults and teenagers are not lacking a common interest, it is just illegal in this fabulous free country called the United States of America. This common interest I refer to is Pubs! America’s problem with teenagers out causing trouble on the streets would end if they were allowed to be in Pubs. The drinking and driving problem would end if pubs were installed on every other corner of residential areas. The family arguments on Christmas day would not have reason to begin if the family was all at the pub. I mean, this is a basic concept that most of Europe and other nations have incorporated since the dawn of time. Sure you are led to believe pubs were built in Europe pre automobile and therefore coincidentally found themselves in the easily accessible centre of town, but realistically, sociologists were predicting the social factors that pull parents and children apart and in result they purposely created a common ground that would last for centuries.
You may ask “what do you know about this topic?” Well, honestly, nothing statistical. All I know is my experience but don’t they say experience provides the most valid opinion? (Is that what they say?) Throughout the time I spent in England I never found myself out of walking range of at least one pub. Depending on your consideration of walking range, sometimes 2, 3, 4 or 5. I won’t even consider Nottingham since it has more bars/pubs then days in a year. I visited a no-where town called Poulton. (In America, it would be called ‘bumble-f*ck’) I went on a pub crawl. “A pub crawl?” I remarked at the thought of there being enough pubs to even drive to in this town. Well!! There were four or five on the way INTO town and that’s about all I remember. I spent a weekend in the Lake District in a small touristy town called Keswick. Long story short , I pub crawled again! (See, not only are pubs accessible, but they are in close enough proximity to each other to combine drinking with an exercise routine).
Anyway, you get my point. America needs pubs. It would provide a safe place for teenagers and young adults to hang out. It would allow parents and children to communicate more freely. Alcohol always allows you to talk more freely and frankly, I think American families have some real issues with talking to each other. Parents wouldn’t have to worry about their children throwing house parties when they were out of town. Why throw a house party when you can walk down the road to the pub? You would even give your pets more exercise by walking them to the pub. I bet the standard of alcoholism would also increase decreasing the amount spent on AA. (Is this a social problem? I wasn’t sure but it would help, right?)
You see the key here that America overlooks it location (as well as an unnecessarily high drinking age, but that’s another entry within itself). There are many pubs in NYC but if you are in NYC then it isn’t a true pub. You must be able to walk to the pub from your house, not your east village apartment.
So, for all the sociologists out there who are trying to understand the social dilemmas of America – team up with an entrepreneur and get yourself a pub. (If anyone opens a pub in England that serves NY pizza – it was my idea first!)
Until then, don’t drink and drive, don’t drink under age, don’t binge drink, don’t drink in public, don’t drink on a business lunch, don’t drink by yourself… hell, you’re best off passing around a survey to determine the social acceptability of the environment before even considering opening a beer.