Ok, so I’m being lazy again today. And since I will be as pressed for time over the next few days as I am today, there is a good chance there will be a lot of RBing going on—or just really crappy entries.
When I go to lemondrop.com, the first tag I click on is always Dating & Love. I just can’t wait to see if it’s going to offer some solid legitimate advice for finding your one-and-only, or cynical, laugh-out-loud reasons to be single—with the latter coming out ahead in entertainment and RBing value.
Today’s entry covered the over-analyzed, yet always relevant, topic of ‘the influence of rom-coms on dating in modern day society.’ A classic.
My two favorite rules—and I quote:
Here are four things I’ve discovered that Hollywood is miserably wrong about.
Rule #2: Getting over your baggage is noble — nay, romantic.
How many movies have you seen where a suitor works extra hard to earn the love of a damaged mate? Because when you have emotional baggage in a movie, you are an enigma wrapped in a sexy mystery. In reality, having trust issues — or dating somebody with them — is lonely and miserable. Letting emotional ghosts haunt your current relationships isn’t sexy — it’s exhausting. Trying to fix somebody is as bad as waiting to be fixed yourself. So if you’ve got baggage, instead of casting yourself as Clementine Kruczynski, cast yourself in a movie where you deal with your issues before you try to build something with somebody. OK, it’d be a boring movie, but a much happier life.
I couldn’t agree more. I’ve made that mistake and I don’t intend on doing it again.
Rule #4: We’ve fallen in love, admitted it and kissed. OK! The end.
In rom-coms, where do the movies always end? Right after the couple gets together. That is the happy ending: two people actually making a commitment. That’s where we leave our couple, happily making popcorn in their kitchen or kissing on a bridge someplace in a helicopter shot. They are together and thus there is no reason to continue watching them. Are we in such a rush to get to that comfy, “OK, this is official” part of a relationship that we’re forgetting to enjoy it?
Recently I was helping a friend decode text messages from a new boyfriend, and she yelled, “I just want to fast forward two months when we’re past all this!” And while I understood exactly what she meant, it made me sad that she wanted to skip all the giddy, fun, unsure parts of courtship. Where are the rom-coms about couples who have been living together for two years, share a cat, and still make each other laugh and have great sex? Until we have that blueprint, we should work harder to keep long term relationships just as fun and full of new discoveries as the first hour of any Katherine Heigl movie.
I am just as guilty as the men I’ve dated in speeding up a relationship to reach the “official” stage, where you are head over heels in love before you’ve had your first argument or gone to bathroom with them in the next room. But at the same time, I love the newness… how does that make sense?
I think in the future I’m going to make sure the person I “love” and want to “always be with” really is before I open my big loud mouth.
The other two rules are:
Rule #1: All a girl really needs is a sweet, goofy guy
Rule #3: Love means complete and total honesty.
Both very important, and worth reading, but I had to pick: I couldn’t re-blog her ENTIRE entry! (Although Emily might find that flattering…??)