Archive for the ‘Diets & Detox’ Category

After five days of eating nothing but all-natural veggie smoothies, unprocessed meals made from lots of root veggies and the delicious lemonade drink all week, I feel fabulous!

It took a couple days to adjust but by Wednesday afternoon I felt energized and bouncy. By Thursday I drank the whole 3pm veggie drink without gagging. Completing the Joulebody Cleanse offered more than just the health benefits of setting my body and my diet straight — which it did a great job of. It reminded me how to listen to my body and give it what it needs, and only what it needs, when it needs it. I used to pride myself on managing my body’s needs well but as life gets busier and my yoga practice sways it gets pushed aside. By day three of the cleanse I stopped following the schedule to the hour and started paying attention to when my body began asking for energy.

Contrary to the health message it might sound like I am preaching, for me listening to your body also means giving it the not-so-healthy-treats it craves from time to time.

Like Milk and Cookies Bakery, for example. Friday, my last cleanse day, I was craving a cupcake desperately. I told my friend at work that if I saw one, I was eating it. No question about it. Well, cupcakes didn’t cross my path that day but Milk and Cookies did when we I went out for a friend’s birthday that evening. I was the first in line and indulged in a Chocolate Chip cookie and Strawberry ice cream.

I did experience a bit of a sugar shock after that — probably not a good idea (sorry Joulebody) but it tasted sooooo good! Don’t worry though, minus the ice cream and cookie (and the chocolate chip and sea salt cookie I ate at Dean and Deluca yesterday — SO GOOD; YOU MUST TRY!), I’m sticking to my new habits. My favorite part of the cleanse was the Salmon and Spinach dinners, so they are staying, and to prove my dedication, for brekkie Sunday, I ate a bowl of Steel Cut Oatmeal and blueberries instead of my typically Sunday brunch omelet.

Thank you to the Joulebody Cleanse, and my fab friend AAA who bought it for me, for pointing me back in the right direction.

Oh, and body, please forgive me for anything and everything I eat while at the Candy Trade Show I am attending this week. How often to do you get the chance to attend the Candy show? You must understand that I need to take full advantage.


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People are divided on the role of blogging and social media, with some completely engaged and supportive of its benefits and others busy mocking it.

I’m fully engaged — and here is a great example of why.

When I got home today I received an email from the founder of Joulebody. In the email, which I assume was sent to all current participants, she explained how she was notified that @Joulebody was mentioned in a tweet. The tweet linked to a blog entry. The blog entry discussed the anticipation of Day One. The Day One entry included photos of drinks and meals. The email was in response to the photos that showed a potential mix-up with the labels — the “green” drink was meant to be enjoyed at 3pm while the “brown” drink was breakfast.

I thought, “Ha! That was me!” Now, I doubt drinking the veggie mixes at opposite times would have completely ruined my experience, but I was glad that my blog entry was able to clarify the process.

This B&Gs is an example of why I love social media and blogging. It spreads the word… whatever the word may be!

Now with regards to the cleanse, I’m feeling good so far. Yesterday (day one) afternoon was tough. I was pretty cranky for a while and told one of my colleagues to STFU when they were trying to help me. Buuuuut we’re all good now!

I ended up changing my plans after work to come straight home and eat dinner. I wasn’t planning on eating dinner on the cleanse — dinner is not provided in the option I am doing; you cook it yourself — but the suggested Salmon and Spinach dinner sounded soooooo good at about 3 o’clock that I knew it was happening.

And let me tell you B&Gs, it was delicious! That and the 5pm lemonade — which tasted just like the lemonade diet drink, very refreshing and yummy — gave me enough energy to stay up late working and spend even more time dancing around the apartment singing to my cat.

I also wolfed down my 8pm brownie.

My half-eaten, after-dinner treat.

I wasn’t a huge fan of this. But keep in mind that I am not a fan of chocolate to begin with. Also note that I live with two Betty Crocker proteges and therefore if I’m gonna eat a brownie, I want the homemade, cocoa-packed, fudge-topped kind that I am conditioned to expect to see sitting on the counter. Actually, they are on the counter at the moment.

Sooo, take my opinion lightly, but I am not a fan of the brownie.

Today so far I drank my morning (“brown”) drink and had my “slaw” lunch. The slaw was very yummy. Although, I gotta be honest, I am already looking forward to the lemonade drink and my salmon and spinach dinner this evening. Salmon happens to be one of my favorite foods EVER.

With the exception of my allergies, I am feeling good. I’m a big fan so far!

Alright, that’s all folks…. till the next bottle of veggie goodness!

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About two years ago, I attempted the Master Cleanse. Some of you may have joined me in the venture. (Yes, that is the lemonade diet that Kelly follows on the office during their Biggest Loser competition.)

I did it out of curiosity. I wanted to 1) see if I could adapt my relationship with food and gain a bit more control over what I eat, 2) explore the physical benefits that I heard so much about from other cleanse-graduates and 3) be able to say I did it. (This reason stands behind a lot of what I do!)

For my birthday this year, my fabulous roommate, AAA, gave me a voucher for a 5-day Joulebody Cleanse. The program provides you with three drinks, one meal and a brownie for each day. So starting today, I am once again joining the community of controlled-eating in attempt to rid my body of any remnants of the mounds of cheese and crackers I often substitute for dinner.

This is what I get to eat on day one:

9am: What appears to be veggie juice – something I happen to be a big fan of. (Green juice looks so much ickier than it tastes.)

12pm: Root vegetable lasagna. I am very curious to try this!

3pm: Another veggie-looking juice

5pm: A citrus drink with maple and cayenne pepper. Hmmm, I’ve seen this before, and I happen to love this. Depending on how I feel at the end of this, I’m toying with the idea of using it to ease me into a few days on the Master Cleanse. Seriously, can’t tell you how fresh my body felt at the end of that.

8pm: Brownie, also called a “balance treat.”

[photo to come]

I’m going to try my best to maintain my typical physical activities, although my schedule this week is already so busy that I am not sure how much exercise I’ll get in regardless of what I eat.

Alright, let’s see how this goes Bs&Gs… ready, set, CLEANSE!

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Yeah, soooo it’s not happening anymore.

I woke up exhausted — partially because it was absolutely necessary that I catch up on the latest episode of FlashForward before I fell asleep. (Has anyone else watched? Holy crap, I’m in such anticipation this for week’s episode that I feel actual pain! I mean, you-know-who is obviously NOT going to take out you-know-who-else but if (s)he doesn’t you know (s)he’s done for… gone… history!! I’m on the edge of my seat just thinking about it…)

But that didn’t explain the complete fog my brain was in. I spent an hour in front of my computer trying to come up with ‘in-depth, investigative’ questions for my 11am interview, and for an hour I stared, typed, erased, retyped and stared some more. I had a double dose of my lemon-flavored sugar water, and topped it off with some herbal tea in hope my brain would confuse it for caffeine.

No luck!

I was more brain dead than any morning-after during college graduation week. WTF??

As soon as my call was done — and I was finished acting like am bumbling fool who learned to speak English YESTERDAY — I messaged my co-worker with a request for accompaniment to Hale & Hearty.

She was hesitant — which I appreciated — not wanting to contribute responsibility for my giving up. And she wanted me to check with the boyf beforehand so he wouldn’t place blame on her. (I didn’t check with the boyf. I was going for soup whether I had accompaniment or not.)

And a half an hour later, sitting at the South Street Seaport with a fabulous view of the Brooklyn Bridge…

… I ate the best Curried Cauliflower Chickpea Tomato soup ever to exist!

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So after Day 1′s rough start due to a microscopic ninja taking up residence inside my brain between my eyeballs, Day 2′s energy and satisfaction was a pleasant relief. I felt great. Long walk at the beach, followed by errands and a massive closet clean-up (I know, I know, my life is very exciting!) filled my day. I felt so good that I even managed to sit in the Chinese food shop and watch my boyf eat half a quart of egg drop wonton soup, dumplings and pork fried rice. Yep! Just sat there and watched him eat. And theeeeeen cuddled up on his shoulder in the movie theater while he chowed down on a bag of popcorn. Yep! I just smelled and watched. Can you believe it?

Sunday was a different story. I woke up weak and remained weak throughout the day. On numerous occasions I was ready to sack it all off. Here’s why:

1) I woke up in the middle of a dream about brownies.

2) We drove up to PDubbs to peruse the Adopt-a-thon at the local animal shelter. The only thing I wanted more than a puppy or kitty was a pulled pork chopped salad with BBQ sauce and honey mustard dressing from Harbor Q. If there is one place I need to avoid when fasting, it’s P Dubbs.

I begged the boyf to let me go get a salad. And while I am confident I would have been able to overtake him by surprise, wrestle him to the floor and pin him down under a table in the restaurant long enough to eat the monsterous salad (say, 1.35 minutes), he said he wasn’t gonna let me so I didn’t even drive to the restaurant.

3) We went to the beach where I watched numerous children eat massive ice cream cones. And every time I shut my eyes to nap I began thinking of food. And that set off an intense craving for cheese and crackers. Where my subconscious went from BBQ salad and ice cream to cheese and crackers, I do not know. Just telling you like it is Bs&Gs.

At one point I asked him seriously if he would stand up and keep me from eating if I tried. He said ‘yes, because afterwards I would be mad that he let me.’ Yeah yeah…

… sooooo

… I waited for him to fall asleep.

Yeppers. Sure did.

I am a failure. A cheat. A loser. A pathetic, will-powerless EATER!

I can’t help that he decided to watch a film, which is a synonym for ‘take a nap,’ and left me to my own defenses. Let me tell you, my cranky irritable self had laid all my defenses to rest.

So as I walked through the kitchen… back and forth as a kid might as he prepped to rob a cookie behind mum’s back… I gave in and cut a sliver of cinnamon bun to satisfy my mouth’s desire.


Well, you can’t eat just a sliver. It’s not even then. So I made it even… but eating the whole damn thing.

I went back upstairs and returned to my cleaning post as if nothing happened.

And in a matter of minutes the pain kicked in: The guilt, the disappointment, the frustration.

Figuring I had blown it, I hopped back down the stairs and noshed on the leftover chinese chicken in the fridge. Oh man it was gooood. Then back upstairs to continue wallowing in let-down.

And in a matter of minutes the pain kicked in: The stomachache.

My stomach had been full when I ate; I had just finished off three cups of lemonade to try to quell the hunger. My new little tight stomach had no room for a cinnamon bun and chicken. Soooo I pulled out the old college trick I used to use to entertain my roommate after a night of binge drinking. And I returned the food…

And as embarrassed as I am to admit this little scenario in public, not to mention on a BLOG accessible by anyone who can work the Google Box, it taught me a lesson. It showed me that I have back-up resistance. Kinda like skydivers have a reserve parachute in case their main fails to open properly. Well, when my will-power fails to persevere… I have guilt. So I can now rest assured that when my tough outer coating gives in to temptation setting me off track for whatever ridiculous, hard-to-acheive goal I am chasing, my guilty conscience will peek its head and scream at the top of its lungs: “LOOOOSER!”

Why thank you very much guilt!

After that little lesson I knew I had to complete this — whether it means anything to me or not. (And here I thought publicizing my endeavor was enough to trick my brain.)

So here I am confessing my slip-up to anyone and everyone who fancies reading this…

What was harder than that was admitting to the boyf that I am failed while he was asleep… I like to think he believes in me to complete the task, so admitting that I made a big “oops” wasn’t easy.

But I did…

And he replied…

“So, what tasted better? The cinnamon roll or the chicken?”

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It seemed the world was out to challenge me already. While I was not yet detoxing officially the last two days, I was on a fruit juice and water diet in prep. Yesterday, after an amazing and uplifting yoga class, I was standing outside Moe’s Mexican Grill my friend texted me inviting me to spend the night. As I turned on my heel, I thanked the god I don’t believe in for this small gift. The anticipation of hanging with my friend in the city was the only thing powerful enough to keep me from getting a rice and bean bowl. (First thing I’m having when I’m back on real food!)

Little did I know, Moe’s was just the beginning.

After arriving and finishing off my dinner of Poland Spring, we flipped on the TV. What’s on? Top Chef Masters. I have never ever watched this show before, yet the theme, coincidentally, was traditional pub fare. They ‘re-invented’ Irish Stew, Toad in a Hole, Shepherd’s Pie, Bangers and Mash and Steak and Kidney Pie. With the exception of the kidney, THOSE ARE MY TOP FIVE FAVORITE MEALS. Well, maybe not the stew, but the others, OMG! And with that, I knew the world was out to challenge me.

Today, I arrived at work and one of the first things out of my colleague’s mouth was “birthday celebration today.” Normally our “birthday lunch” is a big ordeal, complete with a variety of food, desserts, snacks and drinks. This month it was just some cupcakes. (Budget cuts anyone?) But even so, they were Crumbs cupcakes. Siiiigh. I didn’t even go into the room; I waited to hear about the treats from my co-workers.

I’m leaving work today, and as I approach the corner I notice “Grand Opening” posted right above the door to the new Chipotle at the end of my street. I’ve been waiting for it to open for weeks… and it chose today! I rolled my eyes and silently cursed the Mexican shop (a Burrito Bowl is the second thing I’m having when back on real food!… followed by Gonzo‘s fish tacos).

It started to occur to me just how much food plays a role in my daily life, without even realizing it. My subconscious is always aware of the food that it sees, smells, wants… Now that I’ve been able to reclassify it and remove it from my routine, it’s everywhere. It’s like those heat-detector goggles that they use in crime or murder shows. The bright red/yellow/orange colors of body heat stand out significantly. Well, today, all the damn food establishments in downtown Manhattan were as bright as a dog in heat.

After that kind of day, I was sure when I got home I was going to walk in to Grandma’s fresh backed brownies or cheesy Zucchini pie, but thankfully she didn’t bake today.

So as a courtesy, I asked her to please refrain from any food shopping or baking or cooking for the next 12 days… to which she laughed and smirked.

Siiiigh. Is that a challenge?

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When I studied abroad my junior year of college, I went skydiving. My friend, REM, had told me there was a drop zone in Interlaken, Switzerland, where the views were supposedly breathtaking. I had always wanted to jump from a ‘perfectly good airplane,’ so at that point Interlaken became a necessary stop on the Travel-Girls Tour de Europe.

It wasn’t until I was in Europe — Nottingham, England, to be exact — planning my month-long backpacking extravaganza, did I begin to recognize the doubt that crossed people’s faces when I mentioned my extreme sport intention. On a few different occasions, when I shared my plans, I was met with a smirk, a scoff, a sarcastic “ok, have fun,” a faux-look of disbelief. Having been born a stubborn pain in the arse, I accepted these reactions of doubt as the challenge they were obviously meant to be.

I now had no choice; I was jumping out of a perfectly damned good airplane whether I wanted to or not.

And I did… and I loved it… and because of that bet that I made up in my head… I went back and did 25 more jumps in attempt to get my certification — which I don’t have, but that’s a long story.

Anyways, the reason I’m telling you this is because tomorrow I embark on another challenge—a two-week detoxification cleanse.

What does this have to do with skydiving? I’m telling you about it.

Now that I’ve told you, now that it’s available to anyone surfing the Google box… well, I have to bloody do it.

It’s not hard to find, The Master Cleanse is advertised all over Mr WWW. But I actually got wind of it from a friend of my mom’s. He’s completed it numerous times, always raving about the effects. He raved enough that I am pretty sure he recruited others from their work clique. I was totally willing to take his word for it, but just to be sure, I scoured the Interweb for other’s reviews, opinions, experiences, advice and [in some cases, graphic] stories. The end was mostly the same, people feel great!

I’m not tremendously unhealthy, but compared to periods of time in the not far off past, and compared to what I would like to be, I’m not really on the dart board.

I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with food. I love it; it loves me; we spend way too much time together; I resent it; it resents me; annnnd scene. Worst yet, I love all the wrong foods. I try to eat the right ones, and I recognize how much better I feel physically and mentally when I do. But leave me in a room alone with a pizza, and you can say ciao to the saucy vixen. (No, seriously, I ate a whole pizza that was meant for 4 of us because I was left alone in the room with it. The others weren’t happy.)

In conclusion, I guess part of the reason I want to do this is to prove that I can and to establish a sense of control over food. But also just to recognize what I consider to be an unhealthy relationship with food. Well not as much food, but as the process of eating it. Don’t they say that the first step is admitting you have a problem? Well, hello there, my name is ME, and I eat too much — and for the wrong reasons.

So starting tomorrow I will be putting nothing but a lemonade concoction of water, fresh lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper into my body. I’ve even spent the last two days on a quasi-fast, eating only fruit and veggie juice, to help prep my stomach into it’s upcoming liquid diet.

Knowing I was going to embark on this “adventure,” as I’ve titled it, I allowed myself one last yummy meal with my ladies on Tuesday night…

… four slices of NY-style pizza.

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