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Archive for the ‘Inappropriateness’ Category

A recent text conversation that occurred between me and my equally-uninterested-in-having-babies (for now, if not forever) girlfriend.

Her: So, there is this kid on the train that is having the loudest tantrum. The mom keeps telling the kid to hush and the grandmother is trying to reason with it in Korean… neither is having much success. I’d be more annoyed if it wasn’t so damn funny.

Me: haha. Go over, smack it.

Her: I think everyone in the car would like to do that. Oh well… one more poster child for birth-control.

I couldn’t have put it better myself!

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I am proudly writing this from my brand-spanking-new MacBook that I purchased today—the second one I purchased in the past week.

Why did I purchase two? Apple’s surprise-marketing scheme threw me a big curveball the day after I purchased a $1,500 MacBook Pro: they upgraded the MacBook model with all the same spec as the low-end Pro, but with a larger HD AND FOR $200 LESS. I mean, come on now Mac!

With a bit of forum research I learned that Apple always upgrades at the end of October–this year it was the iMacs and MacBooks.

So when my laptop arrived in the mail, I opened the Fed Ex box and headed to the Apple store. Explaining the situation, both the [cute] sales guy and the manager man agreed that I was totally getting a better deal by making the exchange. Unfortunately they couldn’t accept the return because I had it customized with a memory upgrade, but since they guaranteed I could return it no-questions-asked, I purchased the new and improved MacBook and sent it off to the backroom with a “Genius” to have my RAM doubled (out of context that sounds very odd—and slightly inappropriate).

Two hours later I was sitting at the library with my good friend attempting to “create an account” in the setup process. After the little timer thing spun around in rainbow colors for almost 30 minutes, I packed it up and traipsed back into the Apple store for the third time that day.

Less than 20 minutes later I was back at the library and typing away on my clean white technological savior!

I love it!

What I didn’t love so much was that the concierge guy who assisted me on trip two thought I was under 18. Upon looking at my license photo, he complimented me on ‘what a good picture’ it was and asked when I took it. I said, “when I was 16—almost 12 years ago.” And his jaw dropped.

To quell any possible uncomfortableness, I said, “yeah, I look like I’m 18, I know.”

To this he replied, “I was gonna say 17.”

:-O I guess when I’m 40 this will be a good thing… eh?

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So a friend of mine recently contracted (is that the right word?) Poison Ivy—or at least he thought he did.

After a week or so of being unable to touch, scratch or shave, and watching it spread to originally untouched areas of his body, he returned to the doctor. With a re-diagnosis of Poison Oak, he is now on a higher dose of steroid treatments.

What has he learned so far? “Roid Rage” really exists:

“I took 5 steroid pills in one shot (which my Dr brother said was ok)…

I proceeded to drive and almost pulled the car over to scream at someone who didn’t use their blinker, nor make the turn at a speed of which I thought was fast enough!

It was so hard to control myself…”

I guess I should have prefaced what a ‘non-aggressive’ guy he is to begin with. The only fight I’ve ever seen him get in was with a cement curb… and the curb kinda won! (JK buddy!)

Watch for Posion Ivy/Oak/anything suspicious looking among greenery; it may lead to Roid Road Rage…. not good, not good at’all!

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So 25 days in and I’m finally feeling the pressure of holding daily meetings with WordPress.

After going out Friday night followed by 4 hours of sleep (thanks to my furry slobbery alarm clock); tailgating (sort of) for 4 hours and then cheering on the Islanders before hitting the pub on Saturday; and then working all day on Sunday, I gotta say I am pretty bloody tired and ready to crash.

But I promised a very dear friend of mine some help with personal statement-editing/proofreading so therefore I will not be mingling with WP any longer.

Hopefully I’ll find some awesome nutty websites to blog about tomorrow…

Stay tuned.

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Taylor Swift is coming to Nassau Coliseum this spring. I am EXCITED!!

Last year we saw her open for Rascall Flatts at the NYS Fair and she instantly went from my ‘who the hell?’ list to ‘most-played’ on my iPod.

And then her Fearless album came out and we became imaginary BFFs.

I’m not one to obsess or even care about celebrities. Yet, she’s basically wrote the soundtrack to my love life.

So when I asked Ms K if she wished to attend the concert, she commented on how ‘angry she is.’ And instinctively I defended her. Why did I do that? I DON’T EVEN KNOW HER!  But really I was defending myself – I relate to a lot of her songs.

But is she really more angry than others? Or does she just address the pain of love as much as the joy, as is typical for country singers.

Here are some of my favs; are they angry?

Tell Me Why Thumbs up: even if she stands up for herself, the lyrics describe her desperation to understand his abusive behavior – yet she still loves him. This automatically makes it an angry song. I mean, even I can’t rationalize that.

Forever & Always Thumbs up: clearly a case of betrayed trust.

Should’ve Said No Thumbs up: do I even need to back this up?

You Belong With Me Neutral: it’s a happy song, but with a rejected, desperate undertone.

Fearless Thumbs down: not angry at all; she’s singing about an open, give-all approach to dating. And even better, she’s talking about the guy jumping in ‘fearless’ – who doesn’t want a secure ‘fearless’ guy?

Love Story Thumbs down: it’s a beautiful song – and video. (Go Taylor!)

Stay Beautiful; Our Song; Tim McGraw Thumbs down!! Obviously… ok, ok, well Tim McGraw could possibly be neutral.

Ok, so there are a lot left out here and a lot of those are sad, angry songs. Ms K could be right. (She happens to be the only person who I will allow to be right over me… really, it just isn’t worth the argument.)

But I think this is why I admire her music so much. She’s able to touch on an array of emotions that few people ever [allow themselves to] experience in a lifetime – and relate them to a teenage/early adult crowd! And she’s only 18! (yeah?)

When we saw her open she sang “Should’ve Said No,” and by way of introduction she said, ‘I dated a guy who cheated on me – and that was stupid, because I write songs.’

Basically that was how she won me over. Not because she was capitalizing on somebody else’s mistake, but because I knew, as a writer, I too could help others deal with their joys and pains by sharing my own…

And that’s why I relate to her, love her and have a mini-lesbo crush on her.

And if she was really that angry… she would have had her way with Kanye, no?

Yay for Taylor!!! Get out your cowboy hats girls and boys!!

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Scenario: I have finished grad school – or post grad school as it’s called in England – and am living in London. I don’t have a ‘degree’ yet because I postponed writing my dissertation for a year. I am obviously not a British citizen so the job options are slim, and my student loans have run dry.

From that moment on I was living – in one of the most expensive cities of the world mind you – off the little bit of savings I had left – and my credit cards!!

I continued to use these lil plastic demons for regular daily expenses upon moving back home. And two years later, this past summer, I returned to my previous home away from home at the photo lab for some weekend fun and extra cash.

Almost six months later I am proud to announce that I finished paying off the balance that had originated in the Big Smoke and since bounced around from one ‘interest-free’ promotion to another.

So what did I do to commemorate this monumental occasion??

I purchased a new Macbook.

Yeah, yeah, I know the ironic stupidity of that action, but next week I will have a sexy new silver Apple to distract me from financial woes.

…guess I’m not quitting the weekend job for a while!

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… is how often hairdressers recommend you get a haircut.

How often do I go? Four – six months if my stylist has her way. Longer if I can distract her from seeing my split ends. I actually didn’t go for almost a year when I was abroad. She was not happy when I showed up at her doorstep with dark roots and 10 months worth of split ends.

The thing is, my stylist is my cousin. And I don’t mean ‘oh, my cousin likes to do hair for fun, so I let her experiment on me.’ I mean, she’s got a natural flair, she’s a professional, she’s FAB! She knows just what colors to place throughout your head to both suit the season and minimize the oncoming dark roots — that I inevitably have a lot of considering my sporadic appts. With that said, maybe she’s too good for her own good. Maybe if my roots were more obvious, it’d push me to go more often? Either way, she gets paid a lot of money to pamper her upscale Long Islander following.

But even if she absolutely sucked at doing hair, I would never trade my hair appts for anything.

I never really understood the stereotype of the ‘hairdresser/client gossip bond’ until I started going to her. I never got why people divulged their personal life to someone they don’t know as anything but a reflection in the mirror once every four – six weeks.

But now I get it.

I think my sudden need for a haircut — when I suddenly one morning have a frustrating blow out and go from not caring to needing one instantaneously — is partially to do with a need to see, share and bond with my cousin.

One of the most caring, selfless, non-critical and funniest people I know, she really is the perfect hairdresser for any gossipy client. (Oh, and did I mention she doesn’t charge me?)

Our hair appts are sometimes professional in which I go to her salon and get foiled, rinsed and washed in a flurry by a combination of her and her girlfriends. And other times, like today, we hang out at her apt with pizza and a bottle of wine. (She promised to cut before the 2nd glass.)

And although it may be because of the 4 inches of dead ends she cut off and the red wine, both my head and my mind feel a lot lighter as a result.

Maybe it’s not the haircut we need every 4 to 6 weeks, but the girly bonding time.

Thanks hun! (I’ve gotten loads of compliments already!)

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