Mike’s Take on S&P
I’m catching up on Mike Collins, my favorite blogger. And he makes a point that I have found myself reiterating on numerous occasions, brought on by a variety of events, in one of his somewhat-recent entries.
“Don’t stick your nose in other people’s business.”
Ok, let’s Talk About Sex and Politics
Yes Mr Collins, let’s do that… although the whole point of the piece is that we shouldn’t be doing that!
My favorite part: “Let me add my 2-cents worth: WHATEVER John Edwards might have done sexually does not affect my life, not one iota. And, I believe that all the folks who get so wired up about issues like this are using them to avoid addressing issues in their own lives.” Well put… I am glad to say that I tend to ignore these media ordeals, but am I also ignoring my own issues. Gooood question!
Although maybe blowing off such “news” because it is petty and irrelevant to my life is just my excuse for being completely oblivious to what’s going on these days.
Who played in that football game yesterday?
ahhh, New York, New York
One of the benefits of working in Manhattan is that a 15-minute subway ride can inject a good dose of entertainment into an otherwise ordinarily dull day.
Today, for instance, I got on the A, instead of my usual route, at the same time as a man begging for help to buy his child new shoes. It actually did bring tears to my eyes: The man (allegedly) had fallen victim to a stroke that left the one side of his body paralyzed. Lacking sufficient benefits his family could barely pay their rent and utilities, and the youngest son needed new shoes. He recited the letter – along with the formatting and punctuation – that the child’s teacher sent home about his “inappropriate (underlined twice) footwear for school and winter (underlined twice), (followed by two exclamation points).”
It was hard to make out all he said over the staticky rap music coming from the man beside me’s cell phone – and his raspy attempt to sing along. I think he felt his $1 contribution to the begging family man made up for the disturbance he was causing the remaining passengers.
But I have faith that begging man will land on his feet: A god-preaching woman, who I will endearing refer to as “lunatic,” was at the other end of the car. She warmed up her prayers while he begged and by the time he made it to her performance area, she was ready to save him. Complete with feet-stomping, hand-clapping and quite possibly an exorcism, she prayed to the lord for his soul.
And I… laughed at the obscenity of my ride home. I think I’m gonna start taking the A train more often.
Project: Disconnect
I didn’t set resolutions for 2010; I didn’t set resolutions for 2009.
I don’t do New Year’s resolutions.
That’s not to say that I don’t make them. I just don’t see the point in waiting till the new year to set resolutions: Why can’t we make ongoing resolutions throughout the entire 12 months? People kickstart themselves into January with a whole list of things they are going to change, start doing and stop doing. And by March, they are usually forgotten and we are left waiting till December to try again.
I think it’s stupid so I stopped taking part in the New Year’s resolution tradition.
Throughout 2009 I set myself goals.
1. Pay off my debt!
And I did, by taking on a part-time weekend job. (Let’s ignore the new debt I accumulated for now, ok? Ok, cool.)
2. Re-establish and strengthen some of my friendships.
I believe I have been successful in doing this—maybe the gals would say otherwise. Among making more of an effort to maintain meaningful contact, we have spent many nights chatting, bitching and debating over dinner, board games (some of us more competitive than others :-p), drinks and even train rides. I feel lucky to have such fun, dependable, strong and determined friends. (Oh and patient… as they have to put up with me! 
)
3. Re-establish my Goals.
Certain circumstances that occurred over the past 1 1/2 years left me doubting many challenges I had set for myself as well as my own abilities. But like all situations that knock you down, you get up again. I’M UP! I’M UP!
4. Relax more.
I have a tendency to schedule myself tightly. Working seven days a week leaves little choice. But I promised to give myself more relaxation time and to NOT FEEL GUILTY about it! And I have. Most recently I have upped my video game collection which has helped significantly in slowing me down. (I’ll kick your butt on MarioKart…)
5. Write my book—before the end of 2009.
Ok this one I fell a little short on, depending on how you look at it. By draft I meant a working, editable, in process piece of work. The draft I got is words, sometimes coherent, sometimes… not.
6. Complete NaNoWriMo.
This coincides with number five. The ’sometimes coherent, sometimes… not’ piece of work was written in the 30-day timeframe between November 1st and November 30th. I took this on with the goal of completing with a working draft, but alas writing 50,000 words in 30 days was a lot harder than I thought.
With that said, I have set myself a new goal and given myself till the end of the March to complete it. Workable? Not likely but it’s a start… and I won’t beat myself up if I don’t get there—as long as I’m on my way.
In order to complete, or make progress towards, that goal, I decided I needed to disconnect from some of my online habits. The first to go? Facebook. The damn thing can suck you in for hours. And I’m not even referring to any of the silly games I may ot may not play—admit to.) I am talking about chatting with my gals in England, checking out photos of friends’ latest vacas/babies/adventures/etc, and sharing interesting articles and blogs with those I think would enjoy it. In other words, “Staying connected.” That’s the point of social networking sites, isn’t it? As much as I enjoy, and hate the idea of losing touch with some people who I don’t speak with often outside the site, it’s time to connect to my “resolutions.”
So coinciding with my three-month goal, I de-activated my Facebook account in an attempt to “Disconnect” from the world and back into me! Yeah, may sound goofy—especially since you can sign in anytime and everything is there as if you never left—but setting this goal is just another thing to accomplish, so I am doing my best. (I’ve only slacked once so far and that was just to download some pics for a friend and show her pics of someone else… it was for her, not me!)
With that said, I guess I should get back to that book… the one I came to the library to work on.
Maybe I should add procrastination to this project!!
Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.” —Hal Borland, American author
“Where Ya Comin’ From?” says The Perfect Workday
I was sitting here thinking about something I said to a friend just now and debating whether I should clarify my intention. Although my point was completely innocent and basically just an observation of their actions, I am slightly worried that they may have taken it more critically than intended because of the words and tone I used.
As I was considering the right course of action, I opened my RSS to catch up on my favorite blogs.
Mike Collins always knows the right thing to say: Where Ya Comin’ From?
High Five to “The Rules of Breakup”
I came across a great blog entry today. The blog, The Rules of Breakup, is something I stumbled upon through one my many blog-perusing sessions—I think it was referenced in nine. (And I note, since they both blog anonymously, that I do not know either of them personally—although after all the blog entries I kinda feel like I do.)
Nine is something I came across during my last breakup, when I was desperate to find some form of camaraderie on my journey. She’s spot on with her analysis of the process she’s going through—and while our relationships were very different, we seem to hit the same obstacles at the same time.
Anyways, both of these blogs, although they have a different voice and personality, are well-written and insightful. With that said, in a recent entry on The Rules of Breakup, she recites (rewrites?) a passage from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet that I like…
…and I quote:
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his feathers may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so he is for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height
and caresses your tenderest branches,
So shall he descend to your roots
and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
All these things shall love do unto you
that you may know the secrets of your heart,
and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only
love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you to cover yourself and pass out of love’s door,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh,
but not all of your laughter,
and weep, but not all of your tears.
NaNoWriMo? Check.
“I snuck out of the vine covered walkways and was greeted with 180 degree ocean views below the steep, rocky cliffs of…”
was about where I ended. Mid-sentence, mid-topic, on a roll to a pivotal point in what I hope turns into some sort of coherent story, was exactly where I was when I submitted my 50,666 words to NaNoWriMo.org for verification.
50,000 words on paper? Check. Complete story? Negative.
Before I began I thought nothing of the, what turned out to be, 84 pages of .doc text. When my friends would react with astonishment at the challenge I was voluntarily embarking on, my brain thought, “What’s the big deal? It’s not that much writing.”
Well, it was that much writing—at times. There were some days I opened my laptop on the train and just stared at it with fearful wide eyes like my grandmother does when I sit down with her to show her emails and photos online. At other times I was so engulfed in my story that the train conductor actually had to give a little “ahem” for me to notice I was the last one sitting on the train. But just one more sentence so I don’t forget my thought.
Throughout the process I picked up lots of tips and advice from other NaNoWriMo participants, friends who do and don’t write regularly, and the constant stream of pep talks famous writers send out to keep our motivation going—my favorite of these was one from week one where the author said something along the lines of, ‘you’ve started, you’ve got about 5,000 words on the page, and now you are trying to decide if you should sack it off while you still can and start over.’ I thought, “OMG! Yes, that’s exactly what I was thinking.”
They are all, like, super psychic or something.
Yet through all this, the best advice I received was from the Français fille. She stumbled across a quote from Hemingway that she though I would appreciate. After a stubbornly difficult day of train-typing, I opened my email to read: “I always worked until I had something done and I always stopped when I knew what was going to happen next. That way I could be sure of going on the next day.”
It dawned on me, ‘hey, he’s on to something.’ My easiest days of writing were those in which I was welcomed by a half-developed idea because I had been forced to stop writing mid-thought during my last session.
We are so trained in society to finish things: Finish dinner, finish a TV show, finish one project before moving on to another. Stopping mid-task is considered “a lack of discipline.”
I now see it as a little mind game I play with myself.
Stopping mid-way became the key to continuing on: Even when I had five minutes left to write on the train, if I knew I was getting to the end of a scene, I would stop—I will finish later when I have time to dive into a new scene.
Easy as that.
As I finished up on my last day, November 29th, I thought, ‘This wasn’t so hard. What made me think this was hard?’ I had come full circle. But I think that’s what I was meant to do.
The purpose of NaNoWriMo is to challenge oneself; to set a goal for something you have always desired to do, and to just do it. Without the deadline, pep talks and comrades, many of us would never even attempt the feat.
Yet in the end, I think it’s more of a personal journey than the one you put on paper. Many of us will never ever look at that story again, while others—like I intend to—will finish, re-write, re-write again, edit, change names, flourish the details, add in some fictional excitement, edit, proof, and eventually begin the hunt for a publisher.
But no matter what comes of our stories, we can all take note in our end-of-2009 reflection, that we did it. We wrote a 50,000 book/part of a book/random story/a series of incomplete random stories/a journal/or whatever else took the writer’s fancy.
In the end, we are all the shiz-nit!, right Caitlin?
And with that said, I have to go. We’re in the LIRR tunnel and I don’t want to get yelled at by the conductor again.
NaNoWriMo Challenge!
So this NaNoWriMo thing is more difficult than I expected.
Yet, at the same time, easier to get the hang of than it seemed a week ago.
As I predicted, the difficulty stems from the “no-editing” guideline. In order to reach the seemingly more-exorbitant-by-day 50,000 word count, there is no time for rewording, thesaurus searching, or even rereading. I was forewarned about this and intended on leaving my ‘editor’s cap’ behind for this adventure, but as always, easier said than done.
The first week I spent writing and writing and writing: Ooo, a spelling mistake. Wait! Does that make sense? No, I shouldn’t mention that yet, it was make it more suspenseful if I waited until I outlined the other scenario… blah blah.
My word count was suffering.
While in journalism it is beneficial to refine as you write, saving you time down the road, this technique is proving less fruitful for book writing.
Five days in, I received a week one pep talk from Jasper Fforde:
And this is why 30 days and 50,000 words is so important. Don’t look at this early stage for every sentence to be perfect—that will come. Don’t expect every description to be spot-on. That will come too. This is an opportunity to experiment. It’s your giant blotter. An empty slate, ready to be filled. It’s an opportunity to try out dialogue, to create situations, to describe a summer’s evening. You’ll read it back to yourself and you’ll see what works, you’ll see what doesn’t. But this is a building site, and it’s not meant to be pretty, tidy, or even safe. Building sites rarely are. But every great building began as one.
I spent Saturday trying to block out the desire to perfect. Eh, did over 2,000 words; not as much as I know is possible for a four-hour stint at the pub. I mean, if nachos, beer and free wi-fi can’t inspire me…
Then on my Monday commute, I thought back to Augusten’s words: I have a horrible memory. I have to just sit down and go back to that place. I don’t know what I’m writing; I just relive it and get it down. (or something to that affect)
I took out my laptop opened up my manuscript and went back to the place I had been last discussing. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I only stopped writing because I was the last one sitting on the train car in Penn Station.
I got back on the train to go home that night, and once again whipped out my pristine white Apple and continued where I left off. I wrote and wrote and wrote. And again on Tuesday morning, I repeated this routine.
When getting to work on Tuesday, I uploaded my wordcount: More than 3,000 words over the course of two hours and 15 minutes of train rides.
I think I nailed it.
Since then I have added up near an additional 3,000 words in less than three hours time. Not bad, not bad at all. I haven’t a clue how it sounds as I have not re-read more than a sentence or two to determine what I was talking about when I dive back in. And I do not plan on rereading it until I have it all on paper, and that’s not just the 50,000 NaNoWriMo words, but the entirety of what I might want it to say, because the more I go on, the more potential I see for multiple stories.
I took this on to jumpstart my 2009 goal of writing a book—which has been redefined to “first draft of book” now that I am familiarizing myself with the process. But in ten short days I have begun to understand the intensity—and emotional upheaval—of memoir writing.
But like they say, “you can’t edit a blank page.” And while I can’t wait to start sorting through a decade of thoughts, experiences and anecdotes, for now I’m enjoying reliving, processing and documenting them.
Now, with 33,611 words to go, the only challenge is maintaining the momentum.
“The Beast”
Way too much to say about this than I have time for right now…
The Beast by Mike Collins from The Perfect Workday
Seriously, if you don’t have this RSS ‘d, DO IT! Or at least go read through some of his other recent entries.
Bye-bye J.O.B.
For all of you who have lost a job, left a job or plan on getting fired in the future:
What You Gain From Losing Your Job by Ellen Collis on the website ED2010.com
And one woman quoted in the article actually started a blog called Fired ‘n’ Fabulous — I find that very brave and FABULOUS!
The Blogosphere!
Some interesting stats about blogging:
(seemed appropriate to share on my blog, ha ha ha.)
State of the Blogosphere 2009 Introduction by Jennifer McLean on the technorati.com website.
NaNoWriMo Success
Today is Day 2 of NaNoWriMo. (Well, day 1 for me as I was home for a total of 4 hours yesterday and they were spent unconscious.)
Check out this girl’s success story:
Book Keeping: Speed-Writing For Success
Spurred by a month-long writing spree, this 22-year-old novelist sold her first book and signed on to pen 11 more.
Death Dream: A Halloween Special!
I once dreamt of my death. I didn’t experience the act of dying in my dream, but rather I was already dead overseeing the scenario as an angel or ghost would.
The most disturbing part was that I had been murdered by my significant other. I was overseeing his family and friends—who weren’t aware of his role in my death—consoling him while he battled the guilt of the situation.
It was tragic. Yet, I wasn’t scared nor angry. I knew it had been an accident—an argument that went too far—and I didn’t want him to pay the price. I felt bad for him for having lost his love at the hands of his temper. That was punishment enough; I didn’t want him to fall at the hands of the legal system.
Almost one year later my girlfriend confided that she dreamt about me. And although it took some coaxing—she knows how much credit I give my dreams—she shared it with me: I had been murdered by my boyfriend. The police were investigating the case but didn’t have any evidence it was him.
I came to her; as a ghost, angel or voice I am not sure, but I confessed his mistake and begged her to keep it a secret. I watched her as she led the police astray from the clues that would have told his secret. She was not happy about doing it, but it was my last wish.
As odd as this was, it so much resembled the dream I experienced so many months beforehand. Both scenarios too clear and vivid in the subconscious of their hosts to ignore.
With that said (you disturbed yet), I have a funny story.
I recently met a guy who I’ve been bantering with. One afternoon, after a bit of flirting, I disclosed to this same friend that he ’seemed very keen and wanted to see me later.’ I followed that e-mail with ‘he actually wants to have lunch today.’
Her response (and I quote): “WHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT??? Are you f%^&*&G Kidding me?!?!?!?! What is his problem! Dude, stay away from him entirely. Please!! I beg you!! If you never want to listen to me ever again about anything that is fine! Just listen to me about this. Please!”
With shock I replied, “Why? I mean… ok, maybe he seems a bit keen, but you sound like you are implying that he may be a psycho! Do you have a bad feeling about me hanging out with him?”
She said, more adamant than I have ever seen her before, “I’m afraid he might try to kill you! I’m NOT EVEN KIDDING!!!”
This obviously required a phone call to which I exclaimed, “Seriously? You have that bad of a feeling? Where did this come from?”
Her: Yes… DO NOT SEE HIM!
Me: Wait a minute, just to clarify, who are you talking about?
Her: Who are YOU talking about?
Me: [name of guy]
Her: Oooooohhh. I was talking about the guy from your dreams. Yeah, you should totally go out with him. I have a great feeling about him… sorry for the miscommunication!
What a miscommunication it was. There I was, deliberating how to explain to this guy that I had to cancel our plans because my girlfriend had a feeling he might try to kill me. What an icebreaker that would be!
With that said, HAPPY HALLOWEEN… I hope the holiday brings only tricks and treats and no dreams of death!
Over and out for the last day of the NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) challenge—it’s been fun. Stay posted for updates on NaNoWriMo!
“Over and out” of October!
So since the 31st is Halloween, and I’ve already scheduled a spooky death-related halloween entry, I will use today to congratulate myself and thank you all!
As of tomorrow I will have successfully completed NaBloPoMo for the month of October (duh!). I have posted a blog entry every day since October 1st. Some have been ridiculously boring, some insightful (I hope) and some just stupid—but funny—and inappropriate. And for that matter, some I didn’t even write, but RB’d them and added commentary.
Whatev!
I did it.
And best of all, I am now in the habit of writing everyday, just in time for NaNoWriMo. Therefore, starting Sunday, the “beast”—what my dad named my new laptop—and I will be embarking on the 50,000-word, 30-day challenge. (Ready Caitlin? Woo hoo!)
I had planned on doing a lot more reading and preparing before this point, but as always, those plans failed—I always plan on doing a lot more than I have time for; it’s my way of life!
I am happy to say that in this past month I have acquired a following. Not a HUGE following, but hey, I’m being read, no? I actually have been clicked-thru from Google Reader on occasion, so someone out there has RSS’d me! woo hoo! Thank you RSSer!
Anyways, thank you for reading and come back as I will be talking about my progress with NaNoWriMo over the next month.
50,000 words in 30 days… that’s 1,666.67 words a day. A very easy word count goal for my brain, it’s just finding the one hour a day it’ll take to get them on paper.
Over and out for the second to last time this month!
Get “Whipped” into Dropping Pounds!
Wow… and here I am dropping pounds by walking my dog regularly when all along I could have been commanded by my “master” to control my diet!
From lemondrop.com: Want to Lose Weight? Creepy Craigslist Pervert Can Help by Emily McCombs
Excerpt of blog entry with text from original Craigslist ad:
“Ever been with an extremely sexually dominant guy?
I have had huge success with fat girls submitting control of their diet/exercise routine to me, and, as a result, losing all the weight they’ve ever dreamed of.
Think about it: You trust a man enough to let him do whatever he wants with you, you take a direct order to lose weight and you’re told how. How can you possibly mess it up?
There is no will power involved. There is no chance of you giving up. There is 0% chance of you failing. You’re taking a direct order from your Master to lose the weight, so you do it, the most healthy possible way, the most correct possible way, and its finally done forever.
And my reward? One extremely grateful, hot little girl that would do anything for me
If this sounds like an exciting idea, write me with a picture of yourself in your first email. not in your second email, not ‘lets chat first.’”
Maybe this is the guy who my dream was about…
(see October 31st’s Halloween Entry about Death Dreams… ooo)
